I never planned on becoming stuck which is how I felt after college. Which is how I felt when my mom who failed to offer any advise whatsoever told me that her money with me was done. The rest of this story is for my autobiography so be sure to get your copy (smile). Artists, more specifically painters are specialists in our field. We are like brain surgeons, the head of the painting department stated. I ne’er could gofer that statement either. Why didn’t anyone say anything to me? Why was there Bo one to guide and support me? I don’t know but I am here for you. Because I know what it’s liketo become why you wanted to become when you grow up but not be how you want to be when you grow up.
You don’t need to know what you want to be when you grow up; you need to know how you want to be. well let me puttht into perspective. It would be absolutely great if you know what (career path) you want to become when you “grow up” – I’m still growing. However let’s be smart about this decision makin process. Say for instance I want to become a lawyer. At the end of my studies I find I’m getting nothing but probono work. Not quite what I had in mind as the life of a lawyer. What I failed to envision was the how I wanted to be and what I need to take into consideration to make that happen. There is an assumption that once you assume to choose one of these more established career paths that it comes with a particular list of incentives. You could become a great broke lawyer. Now thats no fun.
I want to be sure of what I want, no matter how many different routes I have to take to get there.
I want to live my life and fulfill my dreams, not the dreams and expectations of others. I want to be free to choose without fearing or being made to believe the way chosen is not “safe”; doesn’t provide job safety to get married and not be in debt afterward; be educated yet wise enough to acknowledge it as a stepping stone; have a nice home with kids; be able to help others live their dreams.
There is an amazing book I started to read entitled, ‘The Richest Man Who Ever Lived’, which I just cant seem to quite finish. This book gives beautifully outlined and clear steps, to guide the reaser ti that place of contrntment. The first step given in this book of which I speak which is critical for everyone, is that we must have a clear and preceise vision. I love this step. Why? Because it helped me to realize why it is I have been stuck all these years way before I even bought this book. Now that I have the book, I am still stuck but I guess at least now I know why, if there is any solace in that. I must confess that even as I write this book I still feel stuck and am unable to pin down this clear and precise vision. This however in no way means I cannot sufficiently advise you as the years of putting this book together has taught invaluable lessons that will help you to establish that clear and precise vision. I am sure that there are many books out there that supply step by step instructions that will work, once you get past that fisrt step. This book is simply about taking that first step.
Before you can take that first step however there are several things that must be put in place to facilitate the taking of this step. One of the things that will certainly help to guide you is to have a mentor – someone who knows you at least to some degree preferably or is in the same field you desire to be in. I remember when I was in college and we were asked to talk about our work and who we admired and so on and I never really seemed to emulate anyone. I just did my thing. This didn’t mean I wasn’t influenced by anyone – I just didn’t look up to any particular individual or group. Why is all this so important? Well we do not want to be tossed to and fro and carried about by every wind of doctrine as the apostle Paul wrote. Being a multi-talented, un-guided individual made me an easy target for this and it happened to me many times. Gullible, susceptible and vulnerable to every compliment issued in whatever area I was involved in at the time. Do not fall into this trap.
One of the other things that must be put in place or as close to being in place as possible is knowing as much about you as quickly as you humanly can, if that is at all feasible, for we know it takes time and time is one of those seemingly crippling factors but don’t worry we can use that to our advantage as well. If you feel you do not know enough about yourself, get some help. So I went and got some help, for as far as I was concerned, no one understood me; no one “got” me. I did some research on the internet and found that all the things and issues that okagued me as a multi-talented individual were not new to me (I often wonder at what point I realized I was multi-talented). I was not an isolated case. What a relief. But I was not out of the woods just yet, clearly as I still did not know what to do with myself. So I went for professional help to a Christian Counseling Psychologist, no shame in that – even though I told very few persons (less than five). It was almost too embarrassing for me to admit to: thirty year old woman who doesn’t know what to do with herself. Did the psychologist help? Yes. To what degree however will be further elaborated in my autobiography.
There were a few things which I had to come to terms with. I had to accept them if I was truly to conquer the apparent fear I faced. I was thirty and I wanted out of this desperate position and state of mind. One of the things I most struggled with was the war in my mind as you may also experience. I wanted to get out of this quickly but I had to learn as you will also and I suggest you learn it quickly, that the process must be endured and appreciating it will make it a bit more tolerable. Our lives operate in seasons and we must understand that we need to make preparations as much as possible for these seasons and just make up our minds to go through them and learn from them.
During one of the counseling sessions I attended, an evaluation was conducted on work previously submitted. The Counselor remarked how well he thought I wrote and of course right away my thoughts drifted off to becoming a writer one day. This was not the first time that thoughts of becoming a writer crossed my mind because of what someone said. As a matter of fact, my writing skills which I don’t really know how much of I possess, saved me in college. You said it – that’s for the autobiography. This book is about you and helping you to take that first step. Now the Counselor from whom I sought help just said something that seemed to set back my progress by years albeit in my mind. Here I was trying to identify that clear and precise vision I had been reading about in a bid to take that one step.
I am still talking about that loaded statement made by the apostle Paul which so many of us get caught in. I ran into an old college friend of mine who asked what I was doing these days. After leaving college over ten (10) years and not “settled” into a career path, this is the last question you want anyone asking you. I detested this question which was asked ever so often by friends, family and acquaintances. Notwithstanding, I responded that I had embarked on a course in Primary Education but asked that he not ask me why, because clearly I was not convinced in my mind why I was even doing it. His response was a curve ball for me as he thought it was a great idea and that the primary level needed great minds like me. I was elated by his response but inside I huddled and crumbled to the ground in a muddle of confusing thoughts. I felt I was back at square one. Not what I anticipated hearing at all as I believed I needed to be doing something else in truth, but I was only doing this so I could focus on something.
justwordsjm 