Being Stace for a Day

“Stace, wake up! It’s Today!”

Before I sat down to write this, my mind was flooded with ideas of what to write and exactly how the sentence would start. But now I’m blank and it’s a typical way and day for me – thoughts racing through my mind and then when I sit o capture them, nothing. Nevertheless, the day continues. 

What am I doing with my life? The question is asked again. More than a dozen times actually, since I first realised life didn’t automatically flow. But it is apparent that I have been doing things with my life because many years have passed since I first posed that question. 

Yesterday gave me very little by way of a schedule of events for today, so I decided I would part company with yesterday and asked today what it’s plans were. But on such a dark and rainy day, today wasn’t much into conversing and only buried further beneath the sheets. Just great. So I reluctantly left today in bed and stumbled to the toilet. I took great care in not turning on the lights so I would remain in a half awakened state. 

By the time I returned to bed, today had already gotten up and was speeding toward the half day mark. Like seriously! I thought today would have given me some great plans to execute, but with the grey skies and chilled weather, I was in pure melancholy. It didn’t help being that time of the month for me either but I braved the day afforded me, weather and all. 

Today introduced me to Eric the hiker, Ipiman the shipper and Yuya the… Hmmm. I’m not quite sure what Today expected of me, as my mind went to thinking of my childless state while others had 6 and more, unable to care for them. But then I wondered, am I ready? And I was only too quick to answer that I would never be ready if I was waiting to be. 

Thoughts of writing and drawing and painting found themselves once more in Today’s thoughts, which Today was only too happy to pass my way. I would have thought by now Today realised I had no headspace to go beyond thinking of writing, drawing and painting to actually getting them done. So why do I think of them multiple times for the day? Today quickly pointed out, “Because that’s where your heart is.” 

What did Today know of my thoughts? Where was Today when I was bracing Yesterday? And now here I was again, allowing Today to consume my thoughts with thinking. But I’ll get Today tomorrow and I bet Today will stop interfering with my…

End of Today. See you Tomorrow. 

Utsumi Beginnings – Short Story

She made me cry…

It was to be my first English camp and I was a bit besides myself. I didn’t know what to expect but I was excited at the possibilities of what was to come. I was going to be a co instructor for one of the groups at the camp and so we made it our duty to welcome the campers as they entered the Utsumi station.
Strange faces with an even stranger language, I have been slowly training my ears to appreciate. There was hardly a face that seemed excited to be there. Most possessed terrified expressions which we as instructors set about to change by putting at ease. A parent approached me and explained as best as she could with what English she knew that her child was very shy and this I could see right away before my eyes.

I set about introducing myself to her child with the biggest and warmest smile I could muster, being a stranger. We got to talking, well more like gesticulating, but she maintained her guard and remained expressionless. We talked about making friends so I introduced myself to some other girls and also introduced her to them and helped them get a conversation going. Once I felt her guard starting to be released I moved on to welcome the new faces I could see.

She had short hair like a boy cut I would say. She wore jeans cut above the knees and a tee to go with it. Sneakers clad her feet as she walked towards the crowd. She seemed quite composed as she chose a spot in a little space to make a stop. I approached her smoothly without intimation and introduced myself. She was quick and sharp and responded well and remained at ease, I could tell. We chatted for a few moments before I set about greeting another, who for the first time, would be leaving father and mother. But there was something about this girl as her name found a place in my mind. I didn’t know what was to come, three days down the line.

Tales of many tears being shed on the last day seemed estranged to me since I had not cried in a while. At the very least I thought the kids would cry as they had spent so much time with each other in their classes and in their rooms. Yet nothing could have prepared me for what happened after day three.

The kids were busy practicing and rehearsing their speeches in English. I was amazed and impressed. Where they would like to go and who they admired best. I was tearing up just to hear them speak and I thought to myself this is unreal. But then the unreal gave way to the surreal when that girl stood up and said she admired me.

I was not prepared and had no clue. I was so surprised, I didn’t know what to do. She hardly knew me beyond three days but her words though simply coined, simply amazed. The tears were right there on my lid and would have just fallen if I had blinked. But instead I pretended there was something in my eye and reached for my dark glasses to hide my surprise. Such a blessing I felt and my heart it did melt and I thought at that time I just really wanted to cry.

Finally the last day came and I stayed far away from any emotional triggers. But little did I know the triggers would seek me out. This note and that note came trickling in but the one from that girl really made it sink in. I had to get away, away from the crowd, from this Utsumi beginning, coming to an ending.

Then You will find “Your Joy”

In Isaiah 58:13-14 God uses Isaiah to tell His people that they should keep His Sabbath in a manner that pleases Him. The verse goes on to tell us “Then you will find your joy in the Lord…”. And I’m thinking to myself “your joy”? This clearly means that each person experiences their own joy in the Lord. For whatever weird reason I always quoted “The joy of the Lors is your strength”, and figured there must be a specific ‘joy of the Lord’, that each person can access to the get the strength they need. 

Are you seeking your joy in the Lord or envying the joy others have found in the Lord? We each will have our own joy in the Lord experience from being obedient to Gods will. Don’t worry. The joy you will find in the Lord is sufficient to provide the strength you need. 

Isaiah 58:13-14

“If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, 14 then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.” For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

Share this:

I didn’t have coffee. I had inspiration. ~Stacy-Ann Hyde